Good Things

Today I'd like to focus on the reasons I have to be happy and what I'm going to do to enjoy my life right now. Enough feeling sorry for myself and wasting my time on people who don't deserve my efforts. It's a new year and I'm in a new place and it's time to say fuck the rest and be awesome.

Good things, reasons to be happy: 

• Jacob. 
• Jasmin.
• Joel.
• Avery.
• Daniel.
• Kiara.
• Brandie.
• Stephen.
• Alyssa. 
• Awesome family members who have helped me out so much at the start of this year. Aunt Sharon for letting me stay with her when my mom went psycho, Uncle Bobby and Kathy for letting me move in with them in Alabama until I get on my feet. Hannah for being awesome and Skyping with me for 3 hours, even though she doesn't realize she's helping me keep my mind off of the things eating away at me. Gram for literally ALWAYS being there to support me, take me places, and give me wisdom. I am so blessed to be living next to her again, as that has always been such a big part of my life. I have come to realize that my mom has really kept me from my other family for most of my life, and I didn't even understand how willing they are to help me. I am so grateful for the opportunities that have presented themselves and for having loving extended family that is here to help me. 
• I graduated! Going to college was always on my list of things to do. From the time that I was old enough to understand what college was. Since I was seven years old, college meant escape, freedom, becoming better, having more, and getting away from my small town and my house. It meant getting to be whoever I wanted to be, learn as much as I wanted. When I walked across that stage in December, it was seriously an out-of-body experience. I couldn't believe that I had actually come so far as to graduate. It was crazy. For that reason alone, I should be so proud of myself. Two degrees over here. Come on. 
• I MADE A CHANGE. I, Jessica- who is terrified of change once she gets comfortable- packed my stuff and moved to Alabama, where the only people I know are my uncle and grandmother. I left the mountains of Western North Carolina, which have been my home for 22 years. I left my school, where I finally made meaning of the word 'home.' Left behind my best friends, who have shown me how it feels to be truly loved and appreciated. They showed me what I deserve, lifted me up and brought out the best in me. But I left them behind because I knew that it was time. And moving down here was such a big thing for me, because I was so scared. But I did it, dammit. And I'm here. 
• I made it through my first phone interview last week, and have an interview in person tomorrow. Getting a job so quickly into my move here would be so awesome. I need a car. And I need something to do so I can start meeting people around here. *Crosses fingers.*
• I have a bed. Hey, that sounds stupid, but at home I slept on the floor. I didn't have my own room and I slept on the floor crammed into my little brother's room. Here, I have my own room. With a bed, a dresser, a CLOSET. It's a small luxury that people take for granted everyday. But I am so thankful for that. 
• Skype. Without it I would die. But it allows me to keep in touch with my sister and my friends while they are all a million miles away getting ready for their second semester to start. I miss them so much, but getting to see their faces and laugh with them over webcam makes the distance a little bit more manageable. 
• Being in a place with opportunities. Prattville and Montgomery are both much bigger cities than the two that I have lived in. I'm excited because you can actually go shopping in Prattville. They have stores!!!!! They have restaurants! They have things to do! Hey, those are all great things that I should be thankful for, because it's a huge step up. 
• Music. My God, I swear my Spotify is playing every single song that is relevant to me right now. I'm trying not to even push the skip button because I feel like it understands what I need right now. Music has saved my life so many times. I'm thankful for the ability to lay down and just listen to good music. 
• God is good. I need to keep that in mind. He's not going to bring me to any challenge that he knows I will not excel at. My director last year always told me that I needed to learn that "when you meet resistance, trample it." I have to understand that even through the tough times, God has my back. And I WILL get through it. But I can't give up.

Things I want to do in the near future: 

• Make a 'Good Things in 2013 jar.' Even though Stephen refuses to do it with me because he says that nothing good has happened in the first two weeks and he doesn't foresee that changing, I want to do it. I'm going to ask my Gram for a jar and decorate it, and try to fill it with good things that happen this year. And I'm not looking for major, monumental things. Simple things can be good, too. 
• Get over it. I've realized that right now, I am just not meant to be with anyone. And the person I want to be with is making me crazy. But I have to get over it, and realize that I am a piece of top quality, prime real estate. Anyone who doesn't see that, doesn't deserve me. We all know it's so much easier said than done to let something go, but I have to. And I know I can. I'm not a backup plan, a second choice, and I am not a rag doll. Gotta get over it. Move on. Let go. 
• Make a friend. I'm the kind of person that doesn't do well being alone all the time with nothing to do. People are my passion, and human interaction is as much a necessity as breathing. Although I love talking to and texting my friends from home daily, I need to find people here that I can hang out with and get to know. 
• Dance more. I find that when I dance around my room like a crazy person, I feel better. And hey, that's an easy fix to a bad mood. 

I just rambled so hard, but I have to get my thoughts out so that they don't drive me insane. I am so thankful for this change, and I know that I made the best decision in coming here. Distance ain't nothing but a thing, and I know I'll see those people I love so much soon. We'll keep in touch and they'll always be with me. Now I've got to focus on where I am and what I'm doing here. There's a reason God brought me here, and I can't wait to find out what that reason is. 2013. Live. Love. Let go. Move on. Find myself. Have fun. Go crazy. Reach.