Wreck This

So I've had a good couple of days and wanted to reflect on them, since the last time I posted I was in a bit of a state of depression and that's never good. I am finally working in Guest Services at Target, and although I can't say I absolutely love it, I am getting the hang of it and it helps to pass the time. The employees there are all super nice and are so willing to help with my learning process, so that's really great. I like the management and whatnot, and am excited about saving money. That being said, I'm really looking forward to finding another job. I got a call on Friday about a position that opened up with the school district I applied and interviewed with right before graduation (a position in a school that is about 20 minutes away from WCU, and I didn't get originally). I was like, okay seriously? Two job opportunities in Western NC within the last week, what the hell is going on? So hopefully I will figure out what I'm supposed to be doing. I think it would be so crazy if I ended up going back to WNC, but if that's where God wants me, that's where I'll be.

I've been getting really involved in church lately and it's awesome. I'm now one of the leaders of the 9th and 10th grade girls' small group in Youth, and am so excited to work with them! They're an incredible, very lively, very 15 year old group of girls. Church today was fun and I went to lunch with some of the younger adults afterwards. They're all super cool, and I've found myself getting really close with Lee, who has kind of taken me in as her BFF and I keep in contact with pretty regularly throughout the week. We ate at a restaurant called Fox's Pizza, but I got a sandwich. We had to wait forever for our food, and when it finally came, my waitress handed me my plate and it hit my cup, knocking my entire Coke into my lap. It was... very cold and very hilarious. At least it got everyone at the table laughing. But I'm starting to feel more comfortable around them, and am able to be more of my outgoing, normal self with them, rather than being all shy and reserved. So lunch was awesome.

Today was such a beautiful day, and Lee and I decided to take advantage of it. We went to this river and sat down by it, intending to read- but we ended up just talking the whole time. Ah, it was such a relief... Having someone here, in person, who I can actually hold a conversation with, is awesome. I feel like we are so similar. We're both the go-to person, the shoulder to lean on, the therapist, the best friend, the person who can never have a bad day or else the rest of the world is off it's axis. But we were able to open up to each other and share our stories and things about our past, things that are hard for me to tell even my closest friends. I told her about Madison, which I was nervous to do since she is so religious and it's hard to tell how people will take certain things. But she was totally cool about it, and had great things to say about my situation. We talked about our search for the right person, trying to figure ourselves out and find love for ourselves to be able to stand alone, before being with anyone else. I'm super excited to have found a cool friend down here who is easy to talk to, passes no judgement, and gives such great advice and wise words on any type of situation. She's a blessing, really.

This evening was Youth Night, so we took the youth to a Mexican restaurant and hung out. It was fun, a really cool opportunity for me to get to know some more of the youth and just chill with them. Elizabeth is one of the girls in the 11 and 12 small group, and I know from a few things she has said while I've been around that she has struggled with self-harm in the past. Today I saw some pretty mean scars on her arms while we were eating. I hope some day we will be able to talk about it and I can share my story with her and I can just earn her trust and hear her story as well. She's really awesome and I'm excited to get to know her.

My Youth ladies!

I'm super stoked because I finally purchased a Wreck This Journal. For anyone who doesn't know, it's a journal that is basically meant to be destroyed. Destruction is another form of creation, and this book brings out your creativity. Each page has instructions on it, for example: "Color this entire page," or "Cover this page using only office supplies," or "spill your coffee on this page." The idea is to completely wreck it, and I am already having so much fun with it. It's a really cool way for me to channel some of my thoughts and energy into something creative and productive, rather than sitting around thinking myself to death.

 It's cool because it's kind of like life in a way. Life's not meant to be all perfect and preserved and going page by page in this boring, normal routine. It's meant to be destroyed and recreated and thrown around and beaten up and drawn on and worn out. Go out there. Redraw your destiny. You're only given one life. Wear it out.

Wreck it.